slow like daytime drama

i slept quite well last night.
i'm sure i'f i'd gone to bed earlier i would have gotten even more sleep but i was trying to finish writing something and i was on a roll.
i'm really thirsty.
that's what i get for brushing my teeth.
lol.
ever get the urge to sigh and not know why?
hey i'm a poet and i didn't even know it!
ok, really lame lol.
but seriously, i'm just really... miserable.
i think i need to spend some time with stef that's like, just spending time with stef and not stef and michelle or stef and ben.
ugh. i'm so dependant on her and i hate myself for it. what happens when we graduate and she doesn't want to be around me as much anymore? what happens if we "go different ways" and we doesn't get to see each other anymore? i need her to survive. one week thinking she was mad at me and i was reduced to a pathetic, self-destructive pile of self loathing. i need to feel like someone needs me. i need to be needed. and she doesn't act like she needs me. she doesn't need me as much as i need her. and that hurts.
everything hurts these days.