i won't say sorry

apparently he doesn't hate me.
bull shit.
it wouldn't matter if he was in love with me cause i'm not gonna say sorry.
i never did anything wrong. not once, but he always blamed me anyway.
and he made it so ridiculously hard to spend time with stefani.
her every waking moment was spent thinking of him and all i wanted was for her to care about me for a minute. but it was always about him.
and despite that i found myself falling for him.
but of course he didn't like me. not that way.
so he danced with Ji that night at Snowcoming. the dance i worked up the nerve to ask him to for a week only to find out he wasn't even going right before i asked him.
i was crushed understandably but i admit i reacted childishly.
i was embarrassed though. the first time i like a guy enough to want to go to school dance with them and he's not going.
except he did.
but not once did he talk to me.
and during the last slow dance he asked Ji.
she deserved it though. she was going back to Korea soon. she deserved a slow dance. but why him? why'd he have to crush me like that. the first time i'd ever cried over a guy and i hated that feeling.
so i just continued to ignore him, grinding all chances of any sort of relationship into dust.
and then he starts to treat Stefani like shit.
that ended it all. i wasn't gonna let him do that. nobody does that and gets away with it.
we still don't talk.
we walk on opposite sides of the hallway.
we avoid eye contact.
i hate him from a distance and as far as i knew he did the same.
he called me 'thing' when he was talking to Klu.
apparently "he only did that because you called him an asshole"
psh, you don't call anyone a thing.
i would never dream of calling another human being a thing no matter how much i loathed them.
asshole and thing are so far apart of the insult totem pole it's not even funny.
maybe if he would admit he was out of line all those times i'd reconcile.
but when have either of us ever apologised first?
it's been years. what are the chances of us ever being friends again?
absolutely none.