i don't just want to be a footnote in someone elses happiness

i met Tom. Stef's boyfriend. and i still can't hate him.

i'm having more and more dreams about her. i feel ashamed and i shouldn't, maybe. but i do. she's my best friend, and she's happy, and i'm being selfish. idk, maybe i just want to hang out with her more. like if she'd include me more. why can't i come with her when she goes to Tom's like Megan does. She fucking introduced me as her best friend, and yet he's just meeting me after dating her for over a week. or at least that's how long i think she's been dating him. i was never officially told. i sort of assumed slash it was implied. what the fuck ever.

i need someone. i want someone to hold me and kiss me and watch movies with me and be there for me. i know i'm not pretty or sweet like Stefani but i deserve to be loved too right? other people have it. Michelle and Richard have it for fuck sake. just. god dammit.

Pete says it best. "i don't just want to be a footnote in someone elses happiness"