hmm

i'm thinking about starting to record my food intake again.

today i ate:

1)two tortillas, both with refried beans, soy mayonaise, and avocado

2)two bowls of spaghetti

3)pancakes

and that is way too much.

not sleeping.

if i asked you to just spend an hour in bed with me, where it's warm, just staring at the ceiling, cause i'm sad and you make me happy, would you do it?

or would you blow me off like all the other times?

If It Can't Be You

why can't you be the one
to hold my hand when i just can't go on
and if it can't be you
i wish that someone was the one
a smile when i am feeling low
a kiss when i'm a tab bit blue
perhaps you could tell me who
if it can't be you?

but it's not you
it's not anyone at all
i'm all alone, i'm all alone
no one to catch me when i fall
i'm all alone, i'm all alone
i just don't understand
i'm all alone, i'm all alone

and why can't it just be you
you said it once, you loved me too
but if you lied or changed your mind
could you hold me anyway
and maybe wipe my tears away
or say, hey look, she's mine you know
just once, to make the sun come out
if it can't be you

but it's not you
it's not anyone at all
i'm all alone, i'm all alone
no one to catch me when i fall
i'm all alone, i'm all alone
i just can't seem to understand
i'm all alone, i'm all alone

but i still want it to be you
who makes my skies turn blue from gray
if not forever just for today
to hug me when i'm not ok
to fix my hair when it's all screwed up
and make me smile when i'm upset
i'm asking just this one request
if it can't be you
(will you please just try?)